Why Success Can Be Lonely For Founders and Other Power Players
For many high-performing leaders, success doesn’t arrive as promised.
The numbers improve—the title upgrades. The calendar fills. On paper, everything is “working.” And yet, beneath the momentum, something feels off. The drive that once felt electric now feels obligatory. Wins land quietly. Relationships narrow. The inner world grows strangely isolated.
This isn’t burnout in the conventional sense. And it isn’t a lack of discipline, ambition, or resilience. It’s something subtler and more destabilizing.
In a recent conversation with Colette Davenport, a private advisor who works with founders, senior executives, and other power players in transition, one line captured the experience many leaders struggle to articulate: “The harder I worked, the worse it got.”
That sentence is the doorway into a pattern playing out across modern leadership. Understanding it is now a performance imperative.
Watch The Conversation with Colette Davenport
1. When Success Stops Solving the Problem It Created
Early-stage ambition is clean. Work harder, build skills, and increase your leverage. The equation is linear.
But at higher levels of leadership, effort stops producing the same returns, especially internally. More strategy doesn’t restore meaning. More output doesn’t resolve unease. More optimization doesn’t fix the quiet sense of disconnection.
This is often the moment leaders begin asking, privately, why success is lonely—even when the business is stable, and the trajectory remains upward. The loneliness isn’t circumstantial. It’s structural.
2. The Hidden Cost of Identity-Based Performance
Most high performers don’t just do leadership. They are leadership.
Over time, their identity fuses with the roles of builder, closer, operator, and problem-solver. This identity is extraordinarily useful until it becomes too rigid.
When performance is anchored to who you believe you must be, any evolution feels like a threat. Leaders often double down instead of adapting, pushing harder on strategies that once worked but no longer align.
If effort increases while clarity decreases, identity—not skill—is usually the constraint.
3. Why the Loneliness Shows Up at the Top
The higher the altitude, the fewer mirrors.
Executives and founders are often surrounded by people who benefit from their stability. Honest reflection becomes scarce. Vulnerability feels inefficient. And pausing feels risky.
Over time, leaders stop sharing what they can’t immediately solve. Their internal world narrows, and their decision-making becomes heavier. Isolation grows, not because others aren’t present, but because fewer people can meet the leader where they actually are.
This is why success often feels lonelier the more “successful” someone becomes.
4. The Moment Everything Keeps Working—Except You
One of the most disorienting phases for leaders is when their external systems remain intact while their internal systems degrade.
Revenue holds, teams perform, reputation remains strong, but motivation becomes brittle.
This is not a failure state. It’s a transition state. Attempting to power through it with more discipline often worsens the gap between outer success and inner capacity.
5. Health as the First Signal, Not the Last Resort
In executive populations, this phase frequently surfaces through health before it surfaces through insight.
Subtle inflammation, lingering injuries, chronic fatigue masked by caffeine and adrenaline, and sleep that looks adequate on paper but feels unrefreshing in actuality.
A leader’s body often detects misalignment long before their intellect admits it.
From an Executive Health perspective, this is not incidental. Health is the most honest feedback system leaders have because it doesn’t respond to narrative.
6. Why Pushing Harder Backfires at This Stage
In earlier phases of leadership, effort creates momentum. In later phases, effort without alignment creates friction.
This is the paradox Colette articulated clearly: “the harder I worked, the worse it got.”
At this stage, leaders are no longer being asked to do more. They’re being asked to recalibrate who is doing the work. The skill set that built the first mountain is not always the one that sustains the summit.
7. Redefining Power Beyond Control and Output
One of the most important reframes for modern leaders is redefining power itself.
Power is not constant exertion. It’s not dominance or endless optimization. At higher levels, power is coherence—the ability to act from internal alignment rather than external pressure.
Leaders who recalibrate here don’t lose ambition. They instead gain precision.
They move from reactive intensity to deliberate capacity. From identity-driven output to values-driven leadership.
8. A Practical Reorientation for Leaders in This Phase
For leaders recognizing this pattern, the next step is not radical reinvention. It’s a structured reflection. A few strategic questions worth sitting with:
What parts of my leadership identity feel outdated?
Where am I applying effort out of habit rather than clarity?
What signals has my health been sending that I’ve rationalized away?
If success no longer feels expansive, what is it asking me to refine?
These are not questions to rush. They are questions that, when answered honestly, restore depth and direction.
9. The Path Forward: Integration, Not Escape
The goal is not to abandon success or ambition. It’s to integrate them with a more sustainable internal operating system.
Leaders who navigate this phase well don’t become less effective. They become harder to destabilize.
Their health stabilizes, decision-making sharpens, and relationships deepen. The loneliness recedes, not because responsibility decreases, but because identity becomes more flexible and grounded.
A Final Reflection
Success feels lonely when it outpaces the inner systems required to hold it.
For modern leaders, the next era of performance won’t be defined by how much they can endure, but instead, by how well they can align their health, identity, and leadership capacity into a coherent whole.
That integration is no longer optional.
Work With Executive Health
If this perspective resonates, and you’re interested in building health and performance that support your long-term leadership—not just short-term output—you’re invited to connect. Executive Health works with leaders who treat their biology, behavior, and decision-making capacity as strategic assets. Request a complimentary conversation here.
Connect with Colette Davenport
Website: https://colettedavenport.com/
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does success feel lonely at higher levels of leadership?
Because responsibility increases faster than emotional and relational bandwidth. Fewer peers can relate, and leaders often self-isolate to maintain stability.
Is this the same as burnout?
Not exactly. Burnout is often exhaustion-driven. This phase is identity- and alignment-driven. Energy may still be present, but meaning feels diminished.
How does health factor into leadership loneliness?
Health often reflects misalignment early—through sleep disruption, inflammation, or fatigue—before leaders consciously recognize the underlying issue.
What’s the first step toward correcting this?
Pausing strategic over-efforting and assessing whether current identity structures still fit the leader’s stage of responsibility and life.
Colette Davenport Conversation Transcript (May Not Be Exact)
Julian Hayes II
(0:03) All right, we are live, so we're going to jump in. (0:05) And so it's so good to put a face, put a voice. (0:10) You know, it's awesome just to get ready to have this conversation.
(0:13) And so we're recording this toward the end of the year. (0:15) And so I'm curious, what's been one of two things, one to two things that have stood out to you this year?
Colette Davenport
(0:24) I'm going to say the primary thing that I witnessed is the collapse of structures and systems. (0:37) Now, we can talk about that on a broader expanse, but I'm going to talk about it on an individual level, because it's what I see breaking down within each individual. (0:47) And the majority of my clients and the people that I talk to work with are founders, high-level executives that are navigating this personal challenge.
(0:59) And the kind of challenge, Julian, that a business advisor or conventional therapy and even sometimes, you know, plant medicines will not resolve. (1:09) And that is specifically because the identity, the ego identity, the individual has built themselves up and around. (1:20) So again, as a founder or the leader of an organization or a company, the satisfaction is no longer there.
(1:28) And that's a tough place to be when you're leading a company, right? (1:33) So it's an internal collapse that I see happening on an individual level that is, yes, also happening on a grander scale in the world. (1:43) But it's part of the evolutionary process.
(1:46) And not a lot of people are equipped to navigate that internal terrain. (1:53) Great at navigating the external systems, structures that they've built and put in place. (2:00) But when that internal collapse is happening for somebody that usually manifests in some personal way, like trouble in the marriage, a health concern, just, you know, stress that can't be managed.
(2:16) And the loss of that passion and drive for whatever it is that they have, like I said, spent sometimes decades giving their whole lives to seems flat or empty. (2:37) And so that is the place I call it the void, right? (2:39) So my clients are often navigating the void that comes with this stage of personal evolution.
(2:46) So I've seen that a lot. (2:49) I've gone through it myself. (2:50) I'm on the other side of it.
(2:52) So I can help people, you know, traverse that terrain. (2:57) That by the way, let me just say this a little bit. (2:59) That cannot be figured out intellectually.
(3:04) Like we cannot think our way through this metaphysical or spiritual collapse.
Julian Hayes II
(3:13) Mm-hmm. (3:16) I can relate to that. (3:17) A lot of problems I try to intellectually think.
(3:21) Why am I stuck here? (3:22) Why am I stuck with this thing? (3:23) Why am I struggling with this thing?
(3:24) I really try to think. (3:25) And I consider myself a halfway decent smart guy. (3:28) I'm not the smartest, but not the dumbest.
(3:31) But some of those problems still don't run away or still don't dissipate. (3:36) And so this void that you're talking about, I guess let's go back to someone you've went through it and you overcame it. (3:43) Let's go back to beforehand.
(3:46) How did you know you were at that place? (3:48) And then what were some of the initial steps to start making this work where you could intellectually get out of it?
Colette Davenport
(3:56) Great question. (3:58) So I realized I was in that stage of evolution because everything that I had built started to fall apart. (4:08) Not because I stopped trying.
(4:11) So I still had the passion. (4:12) In fact, I had an urge, this inner urge to expand, to leverage, to scale my business. (4:22) And so I put a lot of time, effort, and resources towards that and shifting the model.
(4:30) I've been working privately one-on-one with clients for over a decade. (4:35) And at that time, the urge was, all right, leverage, scale, expand, impact at a greater level. (4:43) And so what I invested myself into was like a one-to-many model.
(4:49) And that's what I thought was going to scale the business. (4:55) Well, long story short, it failed miserably. (4:59) Not a single response to that offering.
(5:04) And so I found myself in the, oh, fuck, because I put all my eggs in that basket, thinking this is the future of my business. (5:15) And like I said, it failed miserably. (5:18) And so I found myself in a compromised financial position that I started to hustle again to work my way out of.
(5:30) I say again, because I hustled early on in my career, and then I found the flow. (5:36) I found what worked and what was sustainable and repeatable and reliable. (5:42) And then, like I said, and then I shifted gears and was going in a different direction.
(5:47) Well, having to get back into that hustle mode for me, working harder than I had in a very long time, and reaching out to people, just all of the ways that you hustle to start to generate revenue again. (6:03) And none of it worked. (6:06) And I don't mean like it just didn't work.
(6:09) I wasn't hearing from people who are my biggest fans, weren't responding to my emails and texts and things of that nature. (6:15) So just nothing worked, okay? (6:18) With all the effort, all in, all of my resources, and I invested another big chunk of money into an advisor to help me essentially reestablish, get back on my feet and focus again.
(6:36) Because I did take a bit of a hit when that one failure happened. (6:42) And even with all of that, even with all of that, and none of it worked. (6:47) And so I found myself in like at the bottom.
(6:54) So I had more than invested. (6:58) I had invested even what I had in my reserves, right? (7:02) You build your runway for the lean times.
(7:06) I was like, all right, I have this. (7:08) And I'm going to make a really risky move and invest this in getting back on my feet. (7:16) But I'm here for the rapid stuff.
(7:18) So I done that. (7:20) I kind of fucked myself a little bit. (7:22) But I don't have any regrets because the faster we fail, the faster we can find why that collapse had to happen.
(7:31) And then we can heal the source or the root cause of that and start to rebuild from a firm foundation. (7:38) So I went through it. (7:40) And this was about a two-year long process for me.
(7:46) And from that initial urge to expand, and by the way, I did expand, just not the way that I thought I would, right? (7:57) And having that fail, taking that hit, getting myself back together, making that next big investment, having that fall flat, not return the way that I intended or expected or quite frankly needed it to at that time. (8:16) And found myself with nothing, literally.
(8:21) Had to leave my house, a whole bunch of it, like move in with a friend kind of thing. (8:27) And in that time, there was nothing left for me to do as far as make it work, make it happen, generate the revenue, get back on the feet, all of that, all of that, that a business owner does. (8:41) Um, so the only thing I could do was sort of throw my hands in the air and surrender.
(8:54) Because I realized, oh, the harder I work, the more that I hustle in this stage of my evolution, the further away that goal or intention is from me. (9:11) I mean, I had evidence of that, right? (9:13) So that wasn't just a thought that I had.
(9:16) It was like, it was validated by my efforts and the lack of return. (9:22) So all I could do was be still or surrender. (9:28) That was really difficult because I, you know, I get an idea, I act on it and that I had to just be still.
(9:37) And like all of those ideas for, because I've been an entrepreneur since I was eight. (9:41) I've always had the ideas, brought them forth in some capacity that serves others and makes a great living. (9:49) That's just been my MO, my entire, well, career.
(9:56) And it just didn't work anymore. (9:59) And so just being completely still and not putting efforts forth the way that I had, the way that I thought I needed to, gave me that space to really see what was happening. (10:19) And it was, it was this internal collapse of the identity that had gotten me that far to that point of, oh, hey, I want to leverage this amazing body of knowledge that I had, this body of work that I have.
(10:34) I want it to expand into more hands and hearts. (10:39) So that urge was divine, let's say. (10:42) It wasn't an egoic, let me make more money and all that.
(10:46) It was a true divine urge from within. (10:51) But somewhat ironically, in order to see that vision come to fruition, I had to surrender the way in which I thought I had to make that happen, right? (11:07) So the urge is divine, it's clear, it's a vision, if you will, that then I utilized a past system, make it work, get to work, hire the people, do all the things.
(11:19) Those systems and that approach failed me. (11:24) Because at this stage of my personal evolution, it's all divine. (11:38) It's all from idea flowing through me to fruition or manifestation, not because of what I do or what I know, but because of who I am and the trusting of the wisdom and the knowing that I hold.
(11:56) And so I shut that down to get shit done. (11:59) And that is where the collapse occurred.
Julian Hayes II
(12:06) Hmm.
Colette Davenport
(12:06) And so in that silence, I saw all of that, right? (12:09) And so I see that being the thing that's happening for other people like me, you know, those of us who have, we're in our 50s. (12:22) So we've been building and enjoying some level of success for a while.
(12:28) And then something happens that causes it just not to work anymore. (12:35) Again, our systems, our structures, our strategies stop working. (12:41) And so it seems like the absolute wrong thing to do, but it turns out it's the right thing to do, which is be still, listen, and allow.
(12:53) And that's hard for us.
Julian Hayes II
(12:55) I was going to say that. (12:56) I was going to say that, you know, when we hear the word trust and surrender, it's so conceptually easy to understand. (13:06) Okay, just be easy.
(13:08) Just calm down a little bit. (13:09) But in that moment, I think there's this urge that you feel like I have to do something. (13:15) I have to make it happen, right?
(13:17) And so even with myself, I'm nursing a small injury right now. (13:23) And I just feel like I need to do something or I'm going to lose it all. (13:27) And I know logically, that's not the case.
(13:30) You're going to be fine. (13:31) You're not going to lose everything in two weeks. (13:33) But in my head, I just like, I always got to go do something.
(13:36) And I feel like, to me, it seems like this is the case with people, maybe in the business world as well. (13:42) Probably that you, a lot of these people that you talk to that they're super successful in everything. (13:48) But it's almost hard for them to pause for a moment and to even see, is this still the right trajectory?
(13:53) Or is there a new adventure that I need to put myself on?
Colette Davenport
(13:58) Yeah, yes. (14:00) And so what I'll say to that is there's a time to move and ride that wave, right? (14:07) And then there is a time to be still and wait for the next wave to come that is meant for you to ride.
(14:17) And so if intuitively or if the internal urge is to move and build and make shit happen, follow it, right? (14:31) But if that is just what we've always done, and we find that it stops working, and you'll know, right? (14:41) You might not be in this, Julian, but anyone listening to this, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
(14:47) It's somewhat difficult to describe because it's a, again, it's this internal experience of something's not right here. (14:57) Even though you're doing all the right things, and it probably even appears like things are going right to others watching, there's this internal dissonance that starts to then make its way out of us to have the actions fail or fall short, fall flat. (15:22) And so that's when you can start to ask these deeper questions.
(15:30) But a lot of times, I know the two people that I hired, which are excellent, it wasn't their work product that failed. (15:38) It was the fact that what was happening internally for me had to happen. (15:43) So no one could help me keep it together.
(15:47) No one could say what was failing or falling apart for me. (15:53) And that's what most people in terms of advisors and coaches, we go to, and even therapists, we go to these experts to help us hold it together. (16:05) Or hold on to what we're losing, essentially.
(16:10) And the work that I do now isn't about holding on or fixing what's falling apart. (16:22) I help people let go and see why that collapse. (16:28) Again, it's usually in the personal life, but of course, it spills over into professional endeavors.
(16:35) But why that particular collapse has to, or had to, if it's already happened, occur. (16:45) So understanding that part of the evolution of the individual is, I mean, that's where hope is born. (16:55) Because it feels like despair.
(16:59) And again, it's mostly internal. (17:01) Most people wouldn't even know that you're going through it. (17:03) Especially if you're a high performer, high producer, powerful person.
(17:10) It looks like weakness. (17:12) And your ego can't have that. (17:15) So you keep it to yourself.
(17:19) And you suffer in silence, so to speak. (17:23) And or the people that you go to are like, all right, let's figure out why this is happening. (17:28) Let's fix it.
(17:28) Let's get you back to where you were. (17:31) It can't happen. (17:34) So here I come and go, we're not going back.
(17:38) We're not going back. (17:39) We're going to let it collapse. (17:42) And see why that had to happen.
(17:45) So you can see clearly, see yourself clearly, see the situation clearly, and heal the source of that. (17:52) I say heal because in my world, it's a spiritual evolution. (18:03) And there is a spiritual wound, I call it a soul wound, that is the impetus for our evolution.
(18:13) So the soul wound is what causes the incredible rise of individuals. (18:21) It's also what causes the fall and the failure. (18:24) And so that's where I meet my people.
(18:27) And we heal that soul wound, rebuilding from a firm foundation. (18:32) From that depth of self-knowing, from self-realization, magic happens.
Julian Hayes II
(18:43) Do you have to, you mentioned like therapy and coaching at times, and sometimes that almost helps you keep it together. (18:53) Maybe not even just soar, but at least keep it together. (18:56) Do you think, do we have to hit our proverbial rock bottom?
(19:00) Or can we learn and evolve without hitting that proverbial rock bottom?
Colette Davenport
(19:07) Yeah, yeah. (19:09) You know, I don't have an answer to that. (19:12) I, in my experience, my personal experience, and then having worked with people for a decade, the crisis is what like stops us in our tracks, brings us to our knees and ask these more existential questions that we wouldn't otherwise be asking if we weren't forced to do so.
(19:44) When things are going along pretty well, or really well, and we can manage the dips, we can manage those low points and get back to a neutral or great place, we tend to just rely on those tools to keep us going. (20:11) So what I'm speaking to here is something that our intellectual, even our, the advanced emotional mental health type tools, and our physical tools. (20:28) I know exercise is a great antidepressant and all the things, right?
(20:32) So, and I'm a big fan. (20:33) I exercise every day. (20:36) And while these are helpful tools to keep a high-functioning system working, the spiritual evolution is something of a different nature.
Julian Hayes II
(20:53) Okay. (20:54) Absolutely.
Colette Davenport
(20:54) And so I don't have an answer to your question, but in my experience, that's how it goes. (21:01) I mean, I think of this story of the prodigal son, who takes the inheritance, goes out into the world, lives his best life, and then finds himself eating slop with pigs, right? (21:15) And that's what turned him around and sent him back home to his father.
(21:23) And had the money kept coming in, or if he'd gotten a decent job and he was able to still enjoy life out in the world, would he have ever gone home to realize that enormous love, that unconditional love, that unconditional acceptance, that revelation? (21:47) I don't know. (21:48) The story points to no.
(21:52) So.
Julian Hayes II
(21:53) Yeah. (21:55) When I'm thinking about how much of, you know, when we're empty is actually about the unresolved self-worth versus maybe it's just simply us evolving as a human being.
Colette Davenport
(22:13) Yeah, I think the two are not mutually exclusive. (22:16) I think they go hand in hand. (22:20) The unresolved self-worth.
(22:23) All right. (22:23) So I'm going to get a little philosophical with you, if that's cool.
Julian Hayes II
(22:26) Okay. (22:26) Yeah. (22:27) Absolutely.
Colette Davenport
(22:28) Let's go. (22:30) And then we can get real practical with this if you'd like, because there's the deep philosophy, and then there's the practical application. (22:37) And I'm here for both.
(22:41) So at a deep core spiritual level, there's a, okay, let me see how to say this. (22:58) I want to give it all to you or I want to give it to you in brief. (23:01) I'm trying to see what's going to be most beneficial for this conversation.
(23:07) All right. (23:08) I'm going to give it to you at a high level. (23:11) Cliff's notes, let's go.
(23:13) All right. (23:14) So, yeah. (23:17) So infinite consciousness, call it spirit, call it soul.
(23:22) That which is non-physical veils itself in order to experience the nuance of humanity. (23:32) So the taste of a cup of coffee, which I love first thing in the morning, your lover's kiss, right? (23:41) Infinite consciousness or spirit or God can't experience those incredible things because it is in itself infinite, non-physical.
(23:55) There is no dual. (23:56) There are no two lips to touch, right? (24:00) And so it can't experience that love, for example.
(24:04) So it veils itself. (24:06) It veils its infinite self-knowing. (24:09) And that veil is what I call the soul wound, okay?
(24:13) And that soul wound is not in the subconscious mind. (24:19) So there's a lot of thoughts around the subconscious mind holding the lack of self-worth, right? (24:26) And so we have a lot of therapies that will address and heal limiting subconscious beliefs.
(24:31) But the soul wound is beyond the mind, including the subconscious mind. (24:37) It's at the level of the soul. (24:39) It's infinite consciousness veiling itself so that it can experience the human condition, the world of duality, good, bad, right, wrong, you, me, and everything else.
(24:51) That we as human beings experience. (24:55) So that soul wound is like a fingerprint. (25:01) Every single human has one, but they're all different.
(25:05) Yours is different than mine. (25:07) And to give you an idea of what a soul wound is, to put some context around this, my soul wound is I am, and every soul wound starts with the words I am. (25:18) It's at the level of identity.
(25:20) And each of us refer to ourselves in every day as I am. (25:24) I am this, I am Colette, I am, right? (25:28) So my soul wound is I am an ugly, disgusting waste of time.
(25:36) You see how that's a little bit more nuanced than I'm not worthy or I'm not good enough, right? (25:42) At the level of the mind, we can rationalize the thoughts, I'm not good enough, or I have low self-worth, okay? (25:51) But beyond that, it's much more nuanced and cruel, okay?
(25:59) And so diagnosing that soul wound is the very first thing I do with every one of my clients. (26:04) And it's not, unfortunately, I so wish it were, but it's not something you can do on your own. (26:10) You can't self-diagnose.
(26:13) Why? (26:13) Because your mind won't let you go there. (26:17) And that's one of the foundations, if not the foundation of my body of work, is as a metaphysician, I'm able to go beyond the intellect and take you beyond the intellect with the system that I've designed, the technology that I've designed, to access that information.
(26:39) And so once you have that information, you now know the, well, it's the filter through which all of reality appears to you. (26:53) All of your thoughts, all of your feelings, all of your behaviors, all of your results, right? (26:58) The good, successful stuff, and the bad, shitty stuff.
(27:03) All of that is infinite consciousness and that unconditional love being filtered through the veil of your soul wound, giving you this limited, sometimes good, sometimes bad experience of reality that we call the human condition, life. (27:22) So there's the philosophy in a nutshell.
Julian Hayes II
(27:26) So this could be why someone could be, say they're very good at business, but then they're shitty at relationships and they're okay at health because it's almost like this quiet operating system that's going on that we have no clue that it's running. (27:47) Is that kind of right?
Colette Davenport
(27:49) Yeah, that's 100% right. (27:51) And to your point, the soul wound will, we'll call it manifest in a certain area of life. (27:59) So for me, historically, the way it got my attention, again, being a lifelong entrepreneur, was money.
(28:09) So Feast Famine was a cycle and a pattern that I lived out for, I mean, again, since I first started working for myself in my early 20s. (28:21) So 30 years, I'm about to be 51 this week. (28:25) And so that was the way in which it got my attention.
(28:29) It did not manifest in the relationship arena. (28:34) Like I've done relationship really well. (28:39) But money has been that Achilles heel for me, let's say.
(28:45) And I say this historically, because after this last, the reckoning that I went through just a couple of years ago, it was that sort of final, like what had to be known, remembered, realized was available to me, because it was the, I mean, yeah, it was that, you know, dark night of the soul on steroids for me. (29:15) So, and sitting in that, Julian, sitting still and being quiet and listening, looking and feeling for the truth of who I am and what is so, allowed me to dismantle that, well, I'll say it this way, heal the wound, but dismantle that identity that had to have that feast famine reality occur for me. (29:43) But yes, it will typically show itself in one of the three major arenas of life.
(29:52) So money and work and career and purpose is one arena. (29:57) Relationship, love, sex, intimacy is another arena. (30:01) And then the third is health, right?
(30:04) When we have those critical health challenges or something physically happens to us that brings us to our knees. (30:13) That is another arena that the skull wound will reveal itself or have you go looking for what's really happening here.
Julian Hayes II
(30:22) Hmm, that's interesting. (30:24) Yeah, these conversations are always interesting because now I'm self-diagnosing myself in my head. (30:28) I'm like, which one am I thinking of that I usually gravitate toward?
(30:33) So, and I think when people listen to this, I think usually the first thing that comes in your head, that's probably to think.
Colette Davenport
(30:41) Yeah, or look at where you are acting out a pattern. (30:48) Where's the pattern happening for you in your life?
Julian Hayes II
(30:52) Yeah, so that's interesting. (30:54) Yeah, I got a lot of thoughts in my head now about that. (30:56) So, okay, so we're in this void, I guess we can call it an abyss as well.
(31:05) And so we want to emerge, get out of this cocoon. (31:12) What does that look like? (31:13) Like, I guess even for like yourself, when you're getting out of this cocoon, what does that look like at the very beginning?
(31:21) I'm sure it's messy.
Colette Davenport
(31:23) Mm-hmm, it's messy while you're in it because it's the great unknown and you feel absolutely powerless to do anything. (31:35) So one of the ways that I've described it is it's like you're running as fast as you can. (31:40) Initially, you're running as fast as you can in outer space.
(31:45) So nothing's happening. (31:47) Yeah. (31:49) And you finally just are like, okay, okay, I don't know.
(31:56) I don't know what to do here. (31:57) I don't know. (31:59) I don't know, right?
(32:01) And so that is incredibly difficult and very challenging. (32:07) And I'll say this, the people that love you are like really trying to help you and there's nothing they can do. (32:15) All of their suggestions are well-meaning and their opinions of what you should do are, again, coming from a loving place, but they absolutely don't understand.
(32:28) And they can't because this is a very individual, spiritual experience that you're having. (32:37) And that collapse that leads, I mean, it's not divided up nice and well-organized. (32:46) It's sort of one phase into another that then evolves into another.
(32:51) I wish it were like step one, here's what you do. (32:53) Step two, you hang out here and you do this, you do some breath work. (32:56) No, that's actually not helpful.
(33:00) I mean, we can use all of those tools like breath work and meditation and exercise to mitigate the intensity of what's happening. (33:13) But they do not resolve, they do not heal the soul wound. (33:19) So in my experience, what is necessary is in fact the diagnosing of the wound and the healing of that, which again, that's the work that I do.
(33:33) And it's the one thing. (33:36) So I'll talk about the healing of the wound real quick. (33:38) I call it soul surgery, right?
(33:40) So we've diagnosed the wound. (33:42) We know what your identity statement is, that it has filtered your entire life experience, that has caused you to rise to high levels of success and is now causing none of it to work and you to feel this existential emptiness inside or that void or anger or despair, yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(34:08) So as we're getting ready to go to the operating table to get some surgery, to make it even more visual, easier for someone to see what would be an example statement that we're getting ready to go to the operating table for?
Colette Davenport
(34:23) Okay, well, I'll just give you without revealing any details of this client, the most recent, right? (34:31) The most recent soul wound that was diagnosed is this client who his statement is, I am a fucking failure, a liar, a cheater, and a little dick motherfucker.
Julian Hayes II
(34:47) Oh, Jesus. (34:50) And so that comes out of his mouth?
Colette Davenport
(34:53) Yes, it did.
Julian Hayes II
(34:56) And so that, not to get too off track, I'm sure the first time that's blurted out, is there like a little shock and even also like a little relief when you're doing that?
Colette Davenport
(35:08) Absolutely, you nailed it. (35:10) It's that thing that your mind won't let you touch. (35:14) Your mind is real resourceful.
(35:16) It's trying to protect you from that existential wound, that thing you think you are, right? (35:24) That your ego is protecting you from that because it seems as though it's true, even though it is the primordial lie, your unique primordial lie, it feels so fucking true. (35:39) It's what you put forth the effort to keep hidden or to deny, but it's sometimes this is when it surfaces and it whispers in your, oh, yes, you are, motherfucker, right?
(35:56) Like you think I'm not that, I will never be that. (35:59) And it's not, I'm not like my parents, right? (36:02) Like we have that, but this is something else.
(36:05) The soul wound is like, oh, yes, you are, right? (36:08) And so when, yes, when that comes up and out, and again, I'm not telling that person he's that. (36:14) Through my process, that's what comes up and out of him.
(36:17) So yeah, it is like, oh, fuck, that was what was in me? (36:23) And he's like, yeah, I can see where that, yeah, yep, that was because of that, yep. (36:30) And so it's all of these horrible experiences in life.
(36:36) You can always point back to the soul wound being the culprit, the single source, right? (36:42) And we think it's other people or the situations of our life that cause us to feel those impossible emotions. (36:51) Not, it's the soul wound being brought to the surface and shown to you and coming through your behaviors, your thoughts, your actions, okay?
(37:04) So yeah, so that would be the first thing that we would do together is get to what is that soul wound that has been, like you said, silently operating that you didn't even know was there, filtering and coloring every experience. (37:21) And so then soul surgery, getting on the operating table. (37:25) And all of this is, I do all this work over the phone with my clients.
(37:27) So it's a metaphysical process that I guide my clients through that incorporates somatic experiencing, it incorporates, yeah, metaphysical science. (37:45) And I'm obviously not gonna give away my secret thoughts here with you now, but that the wound being triggered, something that happens here and now. (37:55) So we don't have to go back to what happened in childhood or when your partner betrayed you in business and left you destitute.
(38:04) We don't actually have to go back because there's enough things happening here and now. (38:09) Even some that seem not that big of a deal, like a fight with your partner, for example. (38:16) That's a triggering event that calls forth that soul wound that has you not be in, well, you could call it in a state of acceptance or love or present, better word, has you not be able to be present and communicate and move through that conversation productively, okay?
(38:38) So something happens that triggers the wound. (38:42) The first step is recognizing it's that wound of mine, not what my partner said to me that caused me to go into that spiral of shame or erupt in anger and call them names, okay? (38:59) It's the soul wound, it's always the soul wound that is being expressed and experienced by the individual.
(39:09) So that's the first step is being able to see that. (39:12) So essentially what we're doing is we're taking our attention off the situation or the someone or something that triggered us and we're putting our attention internally on ourselves, on that source that is filtering that situation and having us respond or react to it. (39:34) Okay, I'm gonna give you the high level of the surgery.
(39:37) So that's step one. (39:38) Step two is to feel the feeling. (39:41) Because my clients and us humans are so adept at rationalizing circumstances and like you said, thinking our way through something, we are not actually ever fully feeling the emotion.
(40:00) And so in step two, it's feel the feeling. (40:03) And because of these situations bring forth a lot of different emotions, sometimes it's anger mixed with shame, okay? (40:09) So in step two, we get to what the dominant emotion is and we, again, with a proprietary process, we feel that feeling without trying to hurry up and get through it, get over it, breathe our way through it.
(40:23) It's like you succumb to it. (40:26) You let it take you the fuck down. (40:29) And what I've done at times, I mean, there have been times, Julian, where that, and this is where some of the somatic experiencing comes in.
(40:40) The fear is so intense in my solar plexus that I've thrown up. (40:47) And so it's the body processing that emotion. (40:51) And so we allow that.
(40:53) We allow ourselves to feel that emotion fully, again, without the mind talking our way through it. (41:00) This is very difficult for highly intelligent people, okay? (41:06) Which again is why something like therapy doesn't do the trick because a lot of times we're trying to rationalize our feeling and work our way through it.
(41:20) We let it take us down and we let it express that emotion, express itself fully because what is an emotion? (41:29) Energy in motion. (41:31) It's meant to rise and move on through, okay?
(41:35) So if we're intellectualizing, that energy gets stuck. (41:39) And sometimes it's physical pain and a whole bunch of other things. (41:46) So that's step two.
(41:47) Step three is give yourself grace. (41:50) So each step is dependent on the previous one. (41:56) So we can actually do step three, give yourself grace unless that emotion has been fully processed, for lack of a better word, fully felt, right?
(42:11) Because what happens, we'll just use fear for now. (42:15) What happens when we let ourselves be consumed by fear, we surrender to that fear. (42:23) We're no longer resisting it.
(42:26) What it does is it dissipates of its own accord. (42:30) It softens, not with our effort, not with our breathing our way through it, okay? (42:39) It simply does what it's designed to do.
(42:42) And what's left where we return to, Julian, is peace, right? (42:51) That emptiness, that presence, that emotional state where there's a lack of agitation, okay? (43:04) So agitation can be positive and feel good in our bodies.
(43:08) At a high level, it feels like joy and excitement. (43:11) And agitation can be low vibrational and feel really shitty, like shame and anger, okay? (43:17) But once that agitation does what it's designed to do, we return to this state of our natural state, okay?
(43:31) And so then we can give ourselves grace, okay? (43:35) And yes, this is a whole guided experiential process that I guide my clients through. (43:43) Soul surgery, right?
(43:44) It's an experiential process. (43:45) I know I'm telling you about it now conceptually, but this isn't something we think our way through together, okay? (43:54) But give yourself grace.
(43:55) And that's where that unconditional love, some people have described it, some people have been in tears, but it's that, again, it's hard to describe. (44:14) It's an experience that you have where you know all is well and that I am okay. (44:25) Not just okay, but like, I'm okay.
(44:29) I'm loved. (44:32) And it's, again, the mind won't make sense of it. (44:35) The mind will get in there like if you let it in, which we don't.
(44:39) But if you do, it's gonna be like, yeah, but you got to blah, blah, blah, blah, all these other like external, right? (44:49) And yeah, we'll pick that back up after this process. (44:53) But guess what?
(44:53) We'll pick all of that external shit you gotta do after this process, but you're not doing it as the same person that you were attempting to do it as before. (45:05) So step three, give yourself grace. (45:07) And then step four is speak the truth, right?
(45:12) So if the why is what brought us to this process, I am, I'll use mine, an ugly, disgusting waste of time. (45:20) I go through the soul surgery. (45:23) Step four is I get to the truth, okay?
(45:26) The truth, the ineffable truth is I am. (45:32) Everything beyond that is interpretation. (45:36) And I'm going to allow myself to interpret and sort of cloak this infinite being that I am, cloak myself in something that feels good, that looks wonderful, rather than the ugly, disgusting waste of time, cloak that I was wearing before that had me see the situation and respond to the situation in an unproductive way.
(46:06) So step four is speak the truth. (46:08) And I'll just give you an example from early on when I was doing this on myself. (46:12) I developed this entire technology out of necessity several years ago, more than a decade ago, okay?
(46:21) But so early on for me, the truth that I cloaked myself in, the new identity that I donned as a result of this process was I am a beautiful, magnetic woman that people love to be with. (46:39) And so allowing that to be the truth of who I am, guess what my world reflected back to me?
Julian Hayes II
(46:47) What you just said, your I am.
Colette Davenport
(46:49) Yeah, yeah. (46:52) Yeah. (46:54) So yeah, soul surgery just sort of removes that unproductive identity so that the true identity can be known to you, okay?
(47:12) And then reflected back to you by others. (47:16) So what that looks like in a practical sense, let's say again, let's say you have a fight with your wife and you act out of anger. (47:27) It's not because of what she said.
(47:30) It's because your soul wound is like a volcano is erupting in that moment. (47:36) You cannot feel anything but anger and respond in that situation from anger, okay? (47:44) We do the soul surgery.
(47:45) You get to the truth of who you are. (47:47) You see the situation for what it is. (47:49) You know that you are okay.
(47:56) And you turn around and you go have a conversation. (47:59) Maybe from a place of vulnerability. (48:01) Maybe from a place of taking responsibility.
(48:05) 100% of your 50% of that situation, right? (48:12) It gives you the ability. (48:17) And it's rapid, by the way.
(48:19) That whole situation takes place in about an hour, okay? (48:23) And the more you utilize it, the quicker it gets. (48:28) The faster you can get yourself from triggered to centered, okay?
(48:33) And the more you in those moments that might've triggered you before, you're able to be present, seeing, understanding, responding, emotionally regulated, let's say. (48:48) And just so much more productive in relationship and in the world.
Julian Hayes II
(48:52) Yeah, I can see that because it almost sounds like, the world is only gonna see you and treat you, first and foremost, how you see and treat yourself. (49:03) So in essence, the world, this is just a mirror of what's inside our soul, something like that, right?
Colette Davenport
(49:09) Yeah, I mean, you nailed it. (49:11) Yes, yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(49:13) Yeah, okay. (49:13) Yeah, so that makes a lot of sense. (49:14) And then also, I was thinking, when you were describing that feeling of almost just having like this, everything's gonna be okay, it's super peaceful.
(49:27) The only time I really can get there is after, probably like there's this feeling of after a few hours of running, where that's that, where I can get that feeling because where I'm like, I'm thinking, but there's no, yeah, but this situation, how are you gonna take care of that? (49:46) I wanna create this. (49:48) Yeah, but you don't have this.
(49:50) I think I wanna talk to her. (49:51) Yeah, but that moment, I specifically think, and I think that's one of the addictions for me, for running, it's definitely not health reasons. (50:02) There's really no health reasons to run miles and miles and miles.
(50:05) But I think there's that feeling right there of where you get that zero frequency state or whatever word we wanna use for it to where we really get there. (50:15) And so I bring that up. (50:18) I wonder if there's other types of, I'll call this an addiction for right now.
(50:24) If there's other types of addictions to where we get this feeling, and sometimes maybe it's not as productive. (50:30) And is that why we get addicted to those things?
Colette Davenport
(50:34) 100%, yeah. (50:35) Yeah, so something you don't know about me is in my 20s, I was a party girl. (50:43) So cocaine and champagne a few times a week.
(50:48) And so for that high that we're seeking is sort of an escape from ourselves. (51:00) And yeah, our circumstances, if they're challenging, but not always. (51:05) Sometimes life can be going good and we're still engaging in these activities that take us out of ourselves.
(51:14) That orgasm is one of those where in that moment, we are not thinking for sure, right? (51:23) When we have an orgasm and why do we call out, oh God, in those moments? (51:28) Because it's a brief touch of that infinite beingness that we are.
(51:37) And so when we use substances, where again, we're trying to escape that identity, this self that we think that we are. (51:47) Now we're not doing that consciously necessarily, but that's what's happening. (51:53) That's the mechanism at play, okay?
(51:55) And so we touch on that briefly and we want more and then we want more and then we want more, right? (52:02) And so, but it is, we're trying to escape this sense, the human condition, the mind and the body and just all of these things. (52:15) Again, not even always because the mind and the body are giving us grief or shit doesn't have to be going bad for that mechanism to take place and us want to escape or touch.
(52:31) I'm gonna say some dramatic language here, touch God, right? (52:38) But it's when we think the substance or the sex is the cause or the only way we can get there that then it can be unproductive, right? (52:54) So everything I just shared with you about that, the self-realization process, that spiritual awakening process, that communing or being one with God, to use a word, that I take clients through, it simply happens by allowing.
(53:15) Yes, I'm guiding someone, but there's no substance involved, no plant medicine, like there's nothing you've got to do physically, you know what I mean? (53:23) It's independent and available at all times. (53:27) We just have so much emotion, thought, physical pain, situational stuff, like we just are so engaged with the context, sorry, the content of our lives externally directed, right?
(53:45) That we can experience the consciousness, the beingness, the awareness that is the source of it all. (53:57) So, yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(54:00) It almost sounds like little kids have this ability, on like a very innocent level, they have this ability. (54:07) And then just the ways of the 3D world, as we go along the ways, it gets beaten out of us or we just forget that we have this in us. (54:18) I guess one of those ways to look at it, it just seems that way.
Colette Davenport
(54:24) Yeah, I mean, that's the game of life, right? (54:26) That's the human condition, that's the way that this evolutionary game is played out. (54:32) You're absolutely right.
(54:34) We're all born into this world innocently. (54:39) And the soul wound is activated before the mind's reasoning faculty has developed. (54:48) And that's why, and I say activated, it's not formed.
(54:51) Let me just be clear, the soul wound is not a trauma. (54:57) Okay, it's not a trauma response. (54:59) In other words, the soul wound can be activated by something completely benign, a situation.
(55:07) I'll give you an example before I get there. (55:10) Yes, it can be activated by a traumatic experience, but it's not necessary, okay? (55:17) So a benign example of what would cause the soul wound to be activated in a six-year-old little boy who loves, I don't know, drawing pictures, okay?
(55:29) And the six-year-old little boy has just drawn this masterpiece of a drawing, all the colors and all of the house and the mom and the dad and the dog. (55:40) And it's all like this kid's masterpiece. (55:43) He's been working on it.
(55:44) And he hasn't said anything, hasn't shown it to anyone. (55:46) Nobody knows he's been working on it. (55:48) And he goes to show his mom who worked all day and is cooking and stressed about something.
(55:57) Maybe she's having an argument with her person. (56:01) And so six-year-old little boy is like pulling on mom's shirt while she's cooking, like about to show this masterpiece he's so proud of. (56:09) And mom goes, not now, not now.
(56:12) I said not now. (56:13) And so six-year-old little boy is like, walks away, maybe in tears. (56:20) And in that moment, that soul wound gets activated.
(56:26) I am a burden, okay? (56:31) Again, it's much more nuanced than that. (56:35) But in that moment, that six-year-old little boy doesn't have the faculty of reasoning, doesn't know mom's trying to cook.
(56:43) She's stressed, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? (56:45) It's just a reaction to a benign situation. (56:50) Mom will never remember that.
(56:51) He probably won't remember that either, honestly. (56:54) It's a benign situation, but it activates that wound that then life starts to build itself around, okay? (57:04) Just to use that specific example of that little child is like I'm a burden and anything I do is unimportant, right?
(57:11) And probably I'm never gonna draw pictures again. (57:16) Starts to then get externalized. (57:19) They stop drawing pictures.
(57:20) They stop asking for attention or raising their hand in class, right? (57:27) It's just, it starts to get, build itself out as an identity, behaviorally and internally, right? (57:36) How we see ourselves, our self-concept.
(57:39) But it was a benign situation. (57:41) Mom was just stressed out and trying to get food on the table, you know?
Julian Hayes II
(57:45) Wow, that's fascinating. (57:47) As we get ready to start wrapping this discussion up, I guess I have a few random questions. (57:52) And it's still connected.
(57:54) So you work with power players in transition is one of the descriptions. (57:58) And what does real power mean in your world?
Colette Davenport
(58:04) Yeah, the opposite of what we think it means. (58:11) So in my world, power is knowing self as source.
Julian Hayes II
(58:19) Mm-hmm.
Colette Davenport
(58:23) That, and it is not this vain ego self-aggrandizing energy either, right? (58:37) It's just knowing. (58:41) Knowing self as source and seeing other as the same.
Julian Hayes II
(58:51) I like that one. (58:53) Other.
Colette Davenport
(58:57) Yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(58:59) I'm gonna have to go back and listen to that one. (59:00) I like that definition. (59:02) If a leader is listening to this and they feel that they are in the early signs of the void, what's maybe the first honest question that they should sit with?
Colette Davenport
(59:16) Great question. (59:28) Who am I?
Julian Hayes II
(59:32) And that's a tough one, I think. (59:36) Because somebody asked me that, who am I? (59:40) And probably the first thing, and that's conditioning, which I can recognize, is you're gonna list a title or some accolade or some attribute.
(59:48) You're not gonna go to maybe character trait or anything like that. (59:53) You're gonna say, oh, I'm this, I'm that, I'm that, right?
Colette Davenport
(59:56) Right.
Julian Hayes II
(59:56) Yeah.
Colette Davenport
(59:58) Yeah, yeah. (1:00:00) And if you keep asking, you'll eventually get... (1:00:04) You know, that's a question that I started asking 30-plus years ago.
(1:00:12) And I took the scenic route to get to the understanding. (1:00:22) And, you know, everybody will be on their own journey to that realization of self, of knowing who I am, who I is. (1:00:38) And I just, I've seen the destruction that arises for people in this stage of their lives who don't have the tools to navigate, who are smarter than their sober coaches and will outwit the therapists and who will, you know, come back from doing ayahuasca in Peru and their ego will appropriate it all.
(1:01:15) And then, you know what I mean? (1:01:16) So I've seen the destruction that doesn't need to occur. (1:01:24) And at the same time, sometimes that's the journey that person is on.
(1:01:29) That's the pig flop that that person has to eat in order to go home. (1:01:38) And so, again, it's not... (1:01:44) The question, it's just keep asking, who am I?
(1:01:48) And if you want someone to reflect and hold that knowing, find someone like myself. (1:01:57) Mm-hmm.
Julian Hayes II
(1:01:58) So if someone asks, what do they say? (1:02:01) You know, who are you? (1:02:02) When they ask you that question, what do you say?
Colette Davenport
(1:02:06) Yeah, well, like I said, we can go philosophical or we can get real practical. (1:02:11) So I would respond in a practical way. (1:02:15) I would not respond if someone asked me unless we were having a philosophical conversation.
(1:02:20) I would not say I am and then keep it, shut my mouth. (1:02:26) I would say I am many things. (1:02:31) Professionally, I'm a private metaphysician.
(1:02:33) You know, that works with, like you said, power players and the biggest transition of their lives. (1:02:41) And so many other things. (1:02:43) I'm a dog mom.
(1:02:45) I am a foodie, a cook. (1:02:48) I'm a fashion lover. (1:02:50) I have a whole bunch of things, you know?
(1:02:51) And so it would be contextual. (1:02:54) Like what's the context that someone is asking me that question in?
Julian Hayes II
(1:02:58) What are some universal fashion tips that would help people out? (1:03:05) I know that's a hard question. (1:03:07) Yeah, fashion tips.
(1:03:07) I know that's a hard question because men and women are going to be different. (1:03:11) You know, but I'm just curious.
Colette Davenport
(1:03:16) Yeah, my philosophy on that is wear what feels fabulous. (1:03:22) So it depends. (1:03:24) Like right now I'm wearing this silk situation.
(1:03:27) Because I'm feeling really fluid in this conversation with you. (1:03:31) There are times when I will show up in a more structured blazer to a meeting. (1:03:36) Just depending on what energy is possessing me at that moment.
(1:03:44) Who do I want to show up as? (1:03:48) Like what's coming through? (1:03:50) What wants to be expressed?
(1:03:51) And because there are multi facets to every individual. (1:03:57) Yeah, the fashion tip is wear what feels fucking fabulous in that moment. (1:04:05) And know what fabulous is.
(1:04:07) Like know what feeling yourself feels like.
Julian Hayes II
(1:04:11) No, I love that tip. (1:04:13) And that's similar advice I got years ago in terms of figuring out kind of your style archetypes and the things that you feel most comfortable in and that kind of thing. (1:04:25) And it made decisions a lot easier for me when it comes to picking clothes out and all that kind of stuff.
(1:04:33) Love that question. (1:04:34) Yeah, what's your go-to dish? (1:04:39) If you're making a great first impression, where are you going to go to?
Colette Davenport
(1:04:44) Oh, are we going out or are we staying in?
Julian Hayes II
(1:04:46) You're staying in. (1:04:47) You're a world-class chef.
Colette Davenport
(1:04:48) I'm cooking?
Julian Hayes II
(1:04:49) Yeah.
Colette Davenport
(1:04:49) Yeah, so let's see. (1:04:56) All right, it's going to be my sesame-crusted seared tuna over this bed of Asian vegetables. (1:05:06) It's clean, it's crisp, it's fatty, right?
(1:05:11) It's got all of the flavors and the nuance and it's sexy.
Julian Hayes II
(1:05:19) It's pretty nutrient-rich as well.
Colette Davenport
(1:05:21) Oh, yeah, always.
Julian Hayes II
(1:05:22) So you're hitting every category right there.
Colette Davenport
(1:05:26) Yeah.
Julian Hayes II
(1:05:27) And what are you most excited about for the upcoming year? (1:05:31) Have you thought about that?
Colette Davenport
(1:05:34) Yeah, so on a personal level, I'm most excited about completing my PhD, which has been a long process. (1:05:47) I started it when I started finding my way into that cocoon, right? (1:05:53) Into the void.
(1:05:54) And so it hasn't been a primary objective of mine for a while. (1:06:02) But it is now. (1:06:03) I've worked it back into the schedule, so to speak.
(1:06:08) So I'm really excited to bring that to fruition. (1:06:12) I'm also really, really excited that the founders and executives and the people in power, so to speak, those that are shaping the world that we live in, are in this stage of their evolution. (1:06:36) And that there is awareness that this sort of dismantling has to occur.
(1:06:48) Like, I'm not the only one talking about this. (1:06:53) And so I'm glad that that's happening because I see what's on the other side, right? (1:07:01) The phoenix that rises from the ashes.
(1:07:04) I see the feathers, the plumes, the colors, the fabulousness of what gets created. (1:07:15) And yeah, we are in that phase of dismantling, of collapse. (1:07:22) And I'm here for it.
(1:07:24) I'm here for it. (1:07:25) But I'm excited. (1:07:26) And I'm excited for it because I know it's part of the process.
(1:07:29) So while most people are thinking, fuck, this is bad. (1:07:32) What do I do? (1:07:33) How do we fix it?
(1:07:34) I'm like, no, no, no.
Julian Hayes II
(1:07:36) It's all happening right on time. (1:07:39) This is an opportunity to trust, to surrender, to allow. (1:07:41) Because there's a lot of external things you can't control.
(1:07:44) But you can control yourself, your internal world, and then allow yourself to grow and flourish with this new world that's going to be birthed.
Colette Davenport
(1:07:51) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. (1:07:53) Well said. (1:07:54) Well said.
Julian Hayes II
(1:07:55) So the last question here is, if you could give every ambitious leader one reminder before they reach this summit, before the void hits, what would you tell them?
Colette Davenport
(1:08:14) The first thing that came up for me is ride the wave. (1:08:19) But I'll add a little something to that. (1:08:25) Understand the you that's riding, the wave that is beneath your feet, and the purpose of it all.
(1:08:33) But ride the motherfucking wave.
Julian Hayes II
(1:08:35) Ride the motherfucking wave. (1:08:36) What a great way to end this awesome conversation. (1:08:40) Where can listeners and viewers, when this comes out, where can they keep up with you at?
Colette Davenport
(1:08:45) Yeah, so you can go to my website, ColetteDavenport.com. (1:08:49) I'm most active socially on LinkedIn, however. (1:08:53) So if you just want to get a peek into my world and see my thoughts on a daily basis, that would be a great place to go.
(1:09:01) And then if you're in Austin, Texas, yeah, come find me. (1:09:04) Let's get together in person. (1:09:06) Look into each other's eyes and see what comes from that.
Julian Hayes II
(1:09:11) Awesome to hear. (1:09:11) I will have that in the show notes. (1:09:13) And I need to take a trip to Austin.
(1:09:14) It's been too long since I've been there. (1:09:16) So maybe next time we'll do this in person.
Colette Davenport
(1:09:19) Awesome. (1:09:20) Would love that.
Julian Hayes II
(1:09:21) Yeah. (1:09:21) And so listeners out there, stay awesome, be limitless, and as always, optimize today and lead tomorrow. (1:09:26) Peace.
